I’m Gonna Pretend This is a Wookiee

From the Sebeka/Menahga Review Messenger
Link to original article

This happened alarmingly close to where we live…

Strangers in the Night


It was Wednesday, July 23. It was getting dark, maybe 9:00 or 10:00 p.m. Kirk Orr was in the driveway at the Bruce Harne residence in rural Staples, watching as Amanda Schluttner drove out of the driveway and down the road. Marietta Harne was in the house taking care of the baby.

Suddenly, something ran out in front of the van, was struck, and pushed itself off the vehicle, and rolled to the side while still standing. Kirk thought he saw Amanda get out of the van and walk around it, but she was still in the van. What had Kirk seen?

The creature ran off into the woods. Amanda returned to the Harne residence, and she, Kirk, and Kirk’s brother, Matt, inspected the dent in the van and the corresponding “hand” print on the hood. Matt grabbed his .30-.30 and shot at the shape of the intruder that appeared along the edge of the tree line across the yard.

The intruder came toward them, so they retreated into the house. They reasoned that if the .30-.30 hadn’t stopped it, they weren’t going to take any chances.

Around back, a ladder was left lying on the ground next to the house. They turned the outside light on, illuminating the yard, and went inside. Marietta had called her sister, Terry Meyer, when she heard the shots.

They said they heard a howl coming from the woods. They went back outside, where they found one of their two dogs cowering in the bushes; the other was so frightened it had soiled itself. The ladder was now up against the house, and they saw a shape up on the roof.

Kirk put the ladder back on the ground, and the creature grabbed an overhanging tree branch, jumped from the roof, and ran off into the woods. They heard howling again, and at times it sounded as if there were more than one creature.

Kirk described the creature as seven feet tall at least, dark brown, hairy, and it had a head “almost like that of a wolf.”

When the Wadena County Sheriff’s Department deputy and the DNR Conservation Officer arrived, they inspected the dented van with the paw print that looked like a hand, and walked down the road and through the wooded area where the sighting first occurred. They told the reporting parties that what they had encountered was probably a bear.

Kirk questioned whether a bear would be running on two legs, or would leave “hand” marks on the van. And he said the howling was unlike anything any of them had ever heard.

When Bruce came home from work the next morning, he found broken branches and flattened brush in the nearby woods. They have heard more howling in the area, but have had no more altercations or sightings.

We attempted to contact the local DNR  Conservation Officer for a comment on this report, but got no response.



Scribd Behaving Badly

Since Scribd began to eat formatting at some point during the conversion process, here are some clean, direct links to the workshop resources so far:

Tier I Example
Tier I Worksheet (click “save” to download)
Tier II Checklist (click “save” to download)
Story Style Sheet (click “save” to download)


Workshop Schedule: EDITED

I have to be quick with this — other duties are kicking my butt today.

Here’s the workshop schedule:

Monday, July 28: Intro and Step 1 of Self-Editing

I’ll introduce the dubious joy that is self-editing and show you the first tier of issues requiring attention.

Tuesday, July 29: Step 2 of Self-Editing

Tier II self-editing issues

Wednesday, July 30: Step 3 of Self-Editing

Tier III issues and Stupid Word Tricks.

Monday, August 4: Track Changes: The Ins and Outs

I’ll show you how it works and how it can work for you

Tuesday, August 5: Track Changes: The Aches and Pains

I’ll show you how it doesn’t work, and more ways you can minimize the agony

Thanks — See you Monday

The Workshop Cometh

It’s almost time, so I’m getting ready for PBW’s Left Behind and Loving It conference series.

I’ll be tackling self editing tips, which will not only touch on things an author should look for in their own work before submitting, but also some common problems encountered during the editing cycle. Yes, that means someone is finally going to have a frank and open discussion about the dreaded Track Changes, and why it’s not uncommon that an author should want to hurl their monitor out the window in a fit of abject frustration.

Fig. 1: :banghead:

I’ve not yet finalized the topic schedule — I’ll get it posted just as soon as I’ve figured out where some stray topics should fall.

At the end of the workshop, I’ll be donating my time to give someone’s mss a thorough copy edit. And no, this is not limited to people planning on submitting to Lyrical.

Until then, back to the usual silliness…

EDIT TO ADD: If you’ve had problems with Track Changes in the past, I’m collecting horror stories so we can reverse-engineer the issues. Send all due questions and horror stories to emmawayneporter A T gmail dOt com


Click to visit the new Lyrical Press Forums

We’ve launched the Lyrical Press forums. There are hangouts for socializing and the usual silliness, of course, as well as a library for excerpts and a place to talk about the writing craft.

To celebrate launch, we’ll be giving prizes away as the week rolls on, so come on over and join us.

See you there…

Um… Weekend 13?

I was gonna do this as a Thursday 13, but guess what? I ran out of time. (yeah, yet another big shocker, I know) So we’ll do this as a weekend 13 instead.

Yes, I was procrastinating and made a graphic

Buffy Quiz!

  1. Who said…

    “Yeah, but you know, good jazz is improvisational. So we’d be marching off in all directions. Running into floats and stuff. Scary.”

  2. What happened to Principal Flutie?
  3. There are _____ cemeteries in Sunnydale.
  4. Buffy’s stuffed pig is named ______________. (you lose points if you say Angel)
  5. Which university did Giles go to?
  6. Willow and Xander broke up when they were five. Why?
  7. Who got turned into a rat?
  8. Cordelia once got staked. With what?
  9. For whom (or what) did Drusilla leave Spike? (thus proving she is out of her fool mind)
  10. Who killed Angel’s parents?
  11. What is Oz’s last name?
  12. In “Welcome to the Hellmouth,” how much does Xander offer for Willow’s tutorial services?
  13. Buffy and Angel dance to what song at the prom?

Bonus question: What is Buffy’s SAT score?

Have fun. Winner gets all due bragging rights.



Things are…a little busy around here.

I’m in the midst of readying our super-secret project for its unveiling. :supah: And editing. And contest judging. And getting a workshop ready. And keeping the small ones from going completely mental on each other.

I’ll be back when I have something coherent to say.