Thursday Thirteen #19

Thursday 13
Yes, sir! Right away, sir!

DISCLAIMER: The following is in no way meant to disrespect the Seventy Days of Sweat Challenge. I dig me some Sven. I’m flying through word count.

But… you know I can’t be serious for five minutes in a row, let alone seventy whole days. So this is just a little sventertainment. Had to be done.

Tales from the Sweat Shop

*cue the Rocky Theme*

We are the proud. The bold. The many authors who signed on for Seventy Days of Sweat.

Our goal? To finish the damn book, already.

How will we finish the damn book?

By following:

  1. Sweatiquette, aka the:
  2. Rules of Svengagement.

    At first, we’re all filled with

  3. sventhusiasm, and
  4. assume the exposition.
  5. But we know there will be hardships along the way. One author has already been stricken with

  6. consvenctivitis, a malady of the eye caused by airborne
  7. sventrails, those scary dangly bits rolling off Sven’s chin as seen below:
  8. sventrails

    Yet help is always close at hand. When the going gets tough, the tough get

  9. the magic svenzyme, sold on the civilian market as “caffeine”. But when the going gets
  10. unsvendurable, there’s just no substitute for
  11. authorazine.

    We must never forget we are intrepid. Word by word, Sven will be appeased if only you never give up, never surrender, and never say die unless the story calls for it.

    Yes, we know there will be much

  12. sweatitting in the aftermath because writing at this pace can cause
  13. sventally retarded prose, as evidenced by paranormalgraphs and a lesser known syndrome with the opposite effect, called
  14. sweat cetera. [abbr: “swetc.“] Swetc. syndrome leads to substitution of symbols like [x] [yada yada yada] or in the most severe cases, [wtf?] in place of rich detail and characterization.
  15. All this we must endure throughout the entire month of

  16. Sventember. Seventy days is a month in Sven years, you know.
  17. God help all editors come the svernal equinox.

    And with that, fight on, svengalibabba, Bob’s your uncle.

    That’s all for this week’s installment of
    Tales from the Sweat Shop.
    :hemi:

    Now… :gowrite:

    [blenza_autolink: tt]

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15 Responses

  1. OMG, that is inspired! LOL! :notwrthy:

  2. That. Is. Brilliant. :rofl2:

  3. Emma – this is….so ….sventabulous!
    And you just gave me a great idea for my TT – wahoo – because my creative juices are all being sucked dry by svennie so i was coming up empty!
    you uber goddess you! :lurve:

  4. Oh, this is hilarious! I really need me some magic svenzyme right now!

  5. AAAUUUGHHH!!! This was simply… INCREDIBLE! I’m laughing my everlovin’ ass off. You rock!

    “paranormalgraphs”… lolololol *tears squirting out eyes*

    Happy TT, thanks for visiting mine, and did I mention YOU ROCK? 😀

  6. Funniest damn post I’ve read in weeks. LMAO.
    Have you seen Rhian’s latest post? She has consvenctivitus!!

    btw – I’m glad YOU get the smells like sun thing, too! Nobody else seems to…

  7. Aye, Wylie. That’s where I came up with this idea /snickering. Consvenctivitus links to Rhi’s stigmata post.

    Thanks, everybody. I had a lot of fun with this today, so I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far.

    Sven, on the other hand… well, I’m gonna go behave myself now. I still have 900 words to go.

  8. I still can’t believe the eye thing! Poor Rhian! I’m proud of all of y’all. I seriously considered hoping on the Sven bus, but I’m going to be out of the country the last week of the contest so that might just cut in. Good luck!!!

  9. This was fartastic or should I say, sventastic? Does TT count for your word count?

  10. Yup, you’ve been using your creativity muscle all right! This is brilliant, Emma! (btw, I answered you about Lyric and Trevor at my place, but it goes like this: Lyric’s on to Trevor, in a big way, from the get-go. Trevor is smart enough to realize this. Want me to write the scene for you? Could be fun!)

  11. This is just making me laugh. Thanks I needed that.
    Thanks for the visit.

  12. ROFL!!! After Sven kicking my ass this week, I so needed to read this post. :thanks:

  13. :rofl2: Thank you. I needed that. Sven has kicked my butt, for three days, but I’m getting some of my own back. So far today, I’ve written 2500 words (2 new scenes) and was just quietly sitting at my computer reading a fascinating article about Snape by (I think) Orson Scott Card, when BAM! the power croaks, the computer dies and I think to myself…OH God Did I Save? (the answer was no, but thank god for the auto recover in word). So now I’m waiting for the storm to pass before getting me some svenzyme and some Sven and Jerry’s Smore’s and hitting the keyboard again. Must go sweat. :hemi:

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