If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now

Back when I was a writer, I thought I knew stuff. Now that I’m on the other side of the fence, so to speak, I realize I didn’t know squat.

If the me of today could go back and have a heart-to-heart with the me back then, here’s a list of things I’d tell myself: 

1. No matter how much fun the writing can be, publishing is a business. Publishers are in the business of making money (I know, right?). Their motivation might be different than yours, but if homey doesn’t subscribe to their theory, homey shouldn’t submit anything for publication, because…
2. What if they say yes? Oh God, how unprepared was I? Before you submit anything for publication, have game plans for editing schedules, pen names, web site, marketing, promotion, marketing, promotion, marketing and branding. If you don’t have those plans in place, DO NOT SUBMIT ANYTHING FOR PUBLICATION.
3. Have at least one more book in the can, polished up and ready to submit before you submit the first one. I know the temptation is strong to submit instantly, but DON’T DO IT unless book two (preferably more) are ready to roll. Sometimes, publication can feel a whole hell of a lot like trauma; it changes you. Your muse might hate change, pack its bags and disappear to a popular vacation destination called “Second Book Syndrome.” And in a world where regular appearances on the release schedule and backlist are key, do yourself a favor and load the gun before you shoot.
4. There’s a big difference between writers and authors. Writers are the poor hacks who grind the words onto the page every day. An author is a small business and public persona. If you can’t be the author, too, DO NOT SUBMIT ANYTHING FOR PUBLICATION.

And now, after a year on the publisher side of the fence, if I could sit down with every writer who’s about to submit, here are a few more things I’d like to say:

1. Did you read the publisher’s guidelines? No. Really. Did you read them? Do they even publish stories like yours? Did they ask for a query first? Do they want the full manuscript first? Go back and re-read the guidelines again and make sure you’re not about to waste your time and theirs.
2. So you’re about to submit to a digital publisher, right? What do they recommend you send? Are you sure they can open that file type? Are you sure they really want to read an html file with blue font and red chapter headers?
3. You know that if they say yes, you’ll have to edit, right? No book in the world couldn’t benefit from at least one more editing pass. If you think your book is perfect as is and that there won’t be more work involved, you should steer clear of this particular playground, or you could find your former writing friends pointing and laughing while you cry over an atomic wedgie and your sudden lack of lunch money.
4. Oh no you didn’t really plan to submit your rough draft. Would you walk into a job interview wearing only holey underwear? Man up. Editors will not do your job for you, and you shouldn’t expect them to.  Self-edit before you submit.
5. You might want to rethink that 10-page query letter. Acquiring editors read all day long. Their eyes get tired. Keep things short and to the point, and even if they hate your book, they will like you. And they never forget a kindness.
6. You do know that acquiring editors and publishers can read, right? Well, see, it’s like this — publishers might be in competition with one another, but if you bash your old publisher in a query letter, the new publisher you’re submitting to will have your submission disposed of by the CDC. You’re now toxic. 

And now what a little publisher bird would like to tell published authors:

1. Some authors shouldn’t blog or tweet. Snark and scathing commentary might work for some authors, but you are not one of them. No. You’re really not. If you want to draw attention to yourself, write another good book. It is, and will always be, the only guaranteed way to win readers.
2. No one likes a drive-by promoter. Nobody. Not even publishers.
3. Do not post that picture of your daughter outside her school. You know the one with the name of your city and state and the school’s name featured prominently on the sign right behind your kid’s adorable mug? The world can be a scary place. Do not give it driving directions to where you live.
4. Even if you only write part time, ask yourself every single day what you’ve done to become a better author. Stand in front of a mirror and look yourself dead in the eye when you answer.
5. There’s a right approach to resolving editing disputes, and a wrong approach. The wrong approach involves tantrums fired off to editors at 1 AM. The right approach involves a cool down period, after which you pick your battles. And remember that editors are not the enemy: They want your story to shine as much, if not more, than you do. You really are in it together.
6. More about editors: Editors are neither slaves nor masters. They are reader advocates, professional collaborators whose best interests are tied to their authors. You don’t have to be BFFs with your editor, but know this: no one believes in you and your work more than your editor. They are your Simon Cowell who may sometimes have to tell you like it is. You may not always like what you hear. Tough crap. Listen, and pick your battles. 
7. If you’re one of those authors who willingly sign boilerplates without legal counsel, shame on you. You are a walking victim waiting to happen, and when a tree falls on you in the forest, no one will hear your cries over the chainsaw roaring in your hand. Take it from me — I’ve now seen more than a hundred publication contracts in action to varying results, and I’m still surprised what some of those terms and clauses actually mean, and how they actually affect the publication and distribution process. I mean, come on. Contracts are written in lawyerese. Not even lawyers understand it half the time, so not everything is as it appears; it can be better or worse, depending. Protect yourself. Have a lawyer explain exactly what you’re about to sign and listen carefully to any reservations they may have. Do not let your desire to be published outweigh your need not to get screwed.
8. Never forget the following: A publishing contract is a legal document. It is not a wink and a handshake that can be broken on a whim — it is a legally binding contract on YOU as well as the publisher. Seek legal counsel before you sign so that you fully understand your obligations and don’t prat-fall your way out of your dream.  
9. Yes, Virginia, you really do have to promote your work. Your publisher can only do so much, and if you think about it, do you want some publisher with hundreds of authors dictating your brand and style? (You just said Oh HEYall no, didn’t you?) Besides. Readers follow authors, not publishing houses. No one gives a crap what a publisher says about you except other publishers, so take your own reins. It’s the only way to ensure you won’t do promotion you hate or makes you uncomfortable. 
10. No, Virginia, you should not spend all your time promoting. This is a trap too many authors fall into. Oversaturation is a bad thing, and the best promotion is your next good book. Know how much time you have to spend on your writing career. Divvy it up between writing, editing, admin and promotion. Imbalance is an iceberg, and there aren’t enough lifeboats on this rig, either.
11. Speaking of balance, there are two kinds of promotion: author-centric and book-centric. There is a time and place for both. Are you wasting money on bookmarks for just one book, or would your money be better spent on bookmarks focused on you, the author (and your website)?
12. Don’t accidentally waste promotion on other writers. Yeah, okay, authors read too, and readers do like occasional insights into the writing process. But if every promo email you send is to lists dominated by other authors trying to promote (Lord, are there a ton of those out there) and if your every blog post is about writing, um… Who are you promoting to? Finite pond, people. Find your audience where it lives. What’s your book about? Who would be interested in it? Where do those folks hang out?
13. Newsletter: People are busy, and this cuts two ways. They’re busy so they aren’t camping your website waiting on new release announcements. Use a newsletter to remind them, but do not abuse the privilege they’ve granted with that address on your emailing list. Publish newsletters only when you have news.  
14. Chances are you weren’t born in a barn. Manners count no matter how wacky and wild your particular brand is. Guests on your website are just that: guests. Be a good host.
15. For the love of all that’s holy, remove the music from your website.
16. If you don’t know how to code a website (and sometimes even if you do), look into alternatives like professional web designers or cloud hosts like wordpress.com that offer customizable templates. Trust me, if I had to do it all over again, I would have gone with WordPress from the start. Too bad I didn’t know any better at the time.
17. Consider publishing your excerpts on Scribd. PHP and CSS don’t make for easy-to-read excerpts. Sometimes, an annoyingly presented excerpt is worse than no excerpt at all, so take advantage of this free, user-friendly tool.
18. Booksellers visit websites, too. Make sure you’ve included all titles and ISBNs on your website. And please, if you write series, include lists of just series titles in order. Do not jumble them all in with non-series titles.
19. Include free reads on your website. Your promotion drives people to your website. Content keeps them there and boosts name recognition. Content, content, content.
20. It isn’t always all about money. Publishers do actually care about authors and their well-being. They understand that authors have families, responsibilities and obligations that must sometimes take precedence over an author’s job. If you need time off, take it, but make sure your publisher knows what’s up.
21. Never be afraid to ask for what you want. The worst thing that can happen is “no”…unless you’re demanding green m&m’s, of course. 

Questions? More advice? Post it all in comments.